Monday, January 7, 2019

How We Live

I heard something today that really resignated with me and I have been thinking about it non stop.
“It doesn’t matter WHERE we live, but HOW we live.”
That statement hit my heart and stuck.
How do we live, how do we move through our lives?
Does it matter if we live in a shack or a mansion?
What kind of person are we?

What about our space? Whatever our space is, how do we fill it? Do we live with purpose? Do we fill it up and make it our home, make it personal? Is it our haven from the world? Or it is a wasted space? Is our life a wasted life?

For me there are 2 sides to this thought;
1. How do we live our life?
2. How do we occupy our space?

I want to live my life looking outward in an expansive way. I want to serve others. In the past several years I have been in a very small place, always looking inward, at my problems, at the things I missed or were hurting me. I want to matter and be missed when I am gone.

My space has also been cold and empty, I haven’t been filling it up.
I want my space to be mine, to reflect me, I want to miss it when I’m gone, and I want to be excited to return to it when I have been away.

There is this lane that you must drive down to get to my house. That lane fills my soul and makes me excited to get to my place. It’s like this gate way welcoming me to back. But back to what? I have to admit that I have not done a very good job of making my space mine in recent years, I have only occupied it. I also have not been living outwardly and filling my life with expansive energy and love. I love where I live but have not slid into that personal place to make it mine. You don’t look around my home and see me. It’s a nice space and that is about it.....

That is about to change! I have finally come to terms with the things that have been holding me back in all aspects of my life, the things keeping me a stranger in my space. I can’t really describe it but it feels good and right, and time.

I know these first few blogs may seem a little heavy but they are actually hopeful and a kind of arriving at a peaceful purpose.

I am so grateful for my many blessings and for my father in heavens love. I am grateful for my trials and for my opportunities. I am grateful for this little farm and for the alpacas and chickens and horses that fill it. I feel like I am stepping through a door and I am so excited.........

Sunday, January 6, 2019

The Downside to Farm Tours

A wonderful day with visitors.

A wonderful day with visitors.

Today I was very excited to have 2 ranch tours scheduled. I always look forward to these visits because I love sharing our passion for alpacas and natural fiber farming with others.

Today turned out a little differently however. Not only did one tour fall through but both of them did in the form of no shows. We put a lot of time and effort getting ready for these tours. We have hot coco and cookies ready for our guests and a fire in the fire pit since it is chilly.

We understand that things come up and plans change but no shows with no heads up are frustrating. We plan our day around these visits and feel that our time is valuable too.

We have decided that from here on out we will require a 50% deposit fee to schedule a farm visit. This fee will be non refundable unless you call to reschedule or cancel your visit at least 3 hours before your scheduled time.

We promise that your visit will be wonderful and that you will leave with amazing memories.

On the farming side of things today we had to check all the boys for fighting teeth. Somebody in the group has been causing trouble so we really needed to get to the bottom of it. We found the offender out took care of the issue. Who doesn’t love a little impromptu dental work!

Tomorrow will be another day and another adventure.

I am grateful for this wonderful life and all the wonderful experiences it has brought into my journey. Until next time happy farming.

Friday, January 4, 2019

Ready Set Go!

We have so much energy at the beginning of a new year. We have identified the things we want to work on, set our goals and taken our first steps toward our goals. I found myself in an interaction with a person today and since I am trying to develop my listening skills I sat and listened........ I found myself just telling myself to shut up and listen, to just listen, to not interject. To be patient, on and on. NOW I don’t really remember the conversation very well because I was trying so hard to listen. Something to do with retirement planning and the S and P 500. It felt like that scene from Charlie Brown when the teacher is talking and all you hear is wa,wa,wa,wa,wa. Clearly I have a lot of work to do In developing this skill.

Then later I was in the nursery pen with the mamas and babies. I was body scoring some of the cries to see how they are doing. One little girl is thinner than I would like, I need to take a closer look at her. She is not to bad, just not quite where I would like her be. All the crias for the most part are doing great and growing well. I am very grateful for this because sometimes fall crias struggle a bit. This is the first year that I have had so many fall births, but so far so good. One thing I will say is that this group of babies all have really wonderful fleeces. Great fleeces are a joy for any alpaca farmer.

Today I am grateful for all my blessings, it has been a really wonderful day.

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Welcome 2019 The Big 5

Well it’s a new year. With that brings new opportunities and new challenges. One thing I want to try is writing a blog. So here we go. I don’t really even know where to start. I guess maybe looking back a little bit and getting real about some realizations I have made. This blog will be a mixture of my wonderful, crazy farm life and my journey to improve short comings mixed in. We always see ourselves one way and the people around us see us another way. I am so thankful for my true friends that are willing to care for me in spite of myself and also are willing to let me know when I have crossed a line. It is a difficult thing to look in the mirror and take off ones blinders. It would be impossible without a safe circle of people that are supportive and true.

Over the past several months it has become very evident that I have some real work to do on myself as a person. I have come to realize that I have some really big short comings. I know we all do, but how often do we really confront this stuff.

My big 5 that I need to work on!

1. There are things I do too much. This stems from being insecure I think.
2. I sometimes come off as an insensitive know it all in a moment of try to help someone.
3. I can be super pushy and don’t really consider what other people have to tell me.
4. Too many excuses.
5. I have a hard time seeing past my own problems and looking at the big picture around me.

Wow that is a bunch of really negative stuff. And if that was all there was to me I would not want anything to do with me. Luckily there is a whole other side to me and hopefully the good out weighs the bad.

My big question is this, can we really change the negative stuff and do better, can we be better? I am going to believe that yes we can. This blog will be my journey down this road of self awareness with a lot of alpaca farm life thrown in. These alpacas are a force of good in my life and I am so grateful for them. When I am sad or hopeless they fill me up with light and love. They make me laugh and cry and help me to feel happy in the middle of it all. I know, I know this sounds kind of sappy and silly BUT I promise it is true!

Before I close this first blog, I want to acknowledge 5 good things about me.

1. I care. I do care about how I make people feel. I do care about helping people in need. If I didn't care, I would never even go down this road.
2. I love to do a good job and will put the time in that it takes to do well.
3. I love and am grateful for my Heavenly Father.
4. I really care about the animals in my care and want them to be happy. And want to help other people take good care of their animals as well.
5. I am committed to becoming a better person.

Stay tuned this should be quite a ride............